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Blood Freak
[Something Weird Video]
1972; color
Directed by Brad F. Grinter & Steve Hawkes
Starring: Steve Hawkes, Dana Cullivan, Heather Hughes, Bob Currier & Anne Shearin
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For whatever reason, Blood Freak snuck past me unnoticed until I read Stately Wayne Manor's review, in my own magazine no less. (#27 to be exact.) Sadly I've been unable to track down a copy of the Something Weird DVD version he wrote about but, fast forward to December 26th 2008 when, lo and behold, a huge lapse in judgment in the TCM programming department led to the showing of this oh-so-special example of curious film making on national television and we were finally able to take in this literal and metaphorical monstrosity. I have to say, it did not disappoint. The story revolves around a fella named Herschell, a Nam vet with a luxurious head of hippie hair, a sassy wardrobe and a cool motorcycle. When we meet our slow speaking hero he's riding along, soaking up the warm Florida sun, blissfully unaware he's about to meet... a catalyst. (For some reason this term sounds much more dramatic when said by a chain smoker with a funny hair-do and ugly shirt.) In case you're wondering just what a catalyst is... (cue smoking guy...) "Well, in this case a catalyst is a person that will bring about changes. They could be good or bad. But there will be changes. You can meet one of these people almost anywhere in your every day life... the drugstore, the supermarket, anywhere. Even driving down the Florida Turnpike..." Moments later we see Herschell's catalyst-to-be, a relatively attractive hippie chick driving on the same highway. They glance at each other. They flirt. They glance at each other some more. Next thing you know he's back at her "pad," as the kids say, where he meets her more attractive, darker haired sister who is busy entertaining a house full of drug addicts and folks with generally questionable morals. (The first sister is actually a bit of a bible thumper if you can believe that.) Herschell wants to believe he prefers the more chaste, less pusher-like sister but, of course, he soon ends up spending time with the naughtier one and is smoking dope and screwing the night away in no time. So much so he almost misses his first day of work on the poultry farm. (The good sister having set him up with this gig the previous night.) Soon enough being late for work is the least of poor Herschell's problems as he quickly finds himself not only addicted to pot, but so careless with his temple of a body he decides to earn extra money eating experimental poultry served up by two appropriately sleazy "researchers" who also work on the farm. This leads to him writhing on the ground like a snake charmer in heat and, quicker than you can say gobble gobble hey, he's sporting what I gather to be some kind of giant paper mache turkey head looking contraption. (This particular transfer was kind of dark; it was hard to tell what was going on at some points.) After regaining consciousness Herschell and his turkey head dutifully return home to the slutty sister who, despite her initial attempt at shock, soon remembers her loose morals and gives it up to her turkey man. And if you think that's the craziest thing you've ever seen... well, it's probably up there. But the rest of the movie is pretty f-ed up too so you might as well watch the whole thing.
—Bunny
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