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The Sexperts
[Retro Seduction Cinema]
1965; b&w
Directed by J. Nehemiah
Starring: Rusty Allen & Audrey Campbell
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Undoubtedly one of the more obscure sexploitation flicks we've been sent for review, The Sexperts is memorable for all the wrong reasons. The "dialogue" in the film is about 90% narration, which is one of it's chief faults; as well as being it's unintentionally hilarious saving grace. I mean, you just don't hear lines like "the shrewdest most cunning girl will become a piece of putty at the sight of an over-fed wallet" every day… or ever! And when was the last time you heard Greenwich Village described as: "Kids, culture and sex—all in one neighborhood!" (OK, well, maybe that one is a bit more plausible.) Either way, the pulp novel-esque narration had me hitting the rewind button more than once, and laughing with every playback. Sometimes the characters have actual dialogue, but it's all a throwaway compared to our stoic-yet-sleazy narrator. The amazing amount of redundant lines he spouts are amazingly redundant and the three randomly inserted color scenes, that have absolutely nothing to do with anything in the movie, only add to the confusion. The lead character is an actress named Liz, who kind of looks like a Liz Taylor wannabe. (The fact she's an aspiring actress and the role she's rehearsing has echoes of Cat On a Hot Tin Roof and Butterfield 8 adds to that impression.) There is a semblance of a story here, somewhere (if not a couple stories), as this is a movie about the planning of a movie as well as the movie itself. (Did you get all that?) To elaborate, we see three fat, balding, middle-aged guys sitting around a table hashing out all the particulars of the script and, as they go on describing the details, we see their suggestions played out by the characters. From roof-top cocktail parties to theatrical rehearsals to a weekend at a Fire Island beach house (which actually looks pretty cool) to a wild Greenwich Village party, we get a great slice of early / mid-'60s New York that you don't see too often. Most of The Sexperts, however, makes me want to "jump four times into a lake and come up three times," to quote one of the film's most memorable lines. Still, there's something so unbelievable about the dialogue that (much to Bunny's chagrin I'm sure) I will surely find myself going back to The Sexperts more than once. In addition to the main feature, there's also a second disc in this set, Naughty Nudes '65, featuring a dozen different old peep show loops, each with a different unattractive girl doing her own 10-minutes strip scene. It also contains a handful of local TV commercials starring none other than Audrey Campbell, AKA Madame Olga from the sexploitation / roughie classic Olga's House Of Shame.
—the Kommandant
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