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Alone In The Dark
[World Video Pictures]
1982; color
Directed by Jack Sholder
Starring: Jack Palance, Donald Pleasence, Martin Landau, Dwight Schultz, Erland van Lidth, Deborah Hedwall, Lee Taylor-Allan, Phillip Clark & Elizabeth Ward
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I originally rented Alone In The Dark for the Decade That Dripped Blood column, thinking it was a slasher movie I'd never heard of. (It does have many markings of a DDB film; to name a few - it was filmed in 1982, the story revolves around a mental hospital, people get killed and Donald Pleasance is in it.) As it turns out, it's more of a straight up horror film. One with a pretty unique plot, as well as a number of ridiculously over the top performances (by the aforementioned Pleasance, Jack Palance and Martin Landau, the latter of whom both make very convincing crazy people) and one very special musical moment we'll get to shortly. Things actually start off a little slow, as we're introduced to a tall bespeckled doctor as he's being introduced to his new job at a dimly lit mental hospital run by Donald Pleasance. (According to the Kommandant the tall bespectacled doctor, Dwight Schultz, played a nutcase on the A-Team. Having never seen the show, we'll take his word for it.) At first I though maybe Pleasance was going to turn out to be kookier than his patients and may end up killing someone himself at some point in the film but, apparently, his kookiness is only related to his unique attitude towards treating his patients, involving mostly talking to them intensely at a very close proximity, and he is not homicidal in the least. The same cannot be said for the patients on the third floor the new guy is there to treat though. They're crazy and homicidal and, guess what, they have some other problems as well. Especially the four mismatched dudes who share a room - the obese child molester, the creepy looking firestarter (Martin Landau), a man who hides his face as much as possible called "the Bleeder" (he gets nosebleeds after a kill) and Jack Palance. (I don't remember what was wrong with him but, again, he certainly did an Oscar-worthy job of acting f'in nuts.) By the way, in my opinion, the bleeding thing isn't so much of a mental disorder as a physical one but I guess the hospital elected to focus on treating the problem they thought was more severe. (Interestingly, I used to work in a medical library housed in the same building as a mental hospital and they kept the craziest people in a locked ward on the third floor too! What's up with that?) Anywhoo, for a reason or reasons that don't need an explanation - hello, they're insane! - these four think the new doctor killed the old doctor and thus want to kill him. And wouldn't you know it, about halfway through the film a massive power outage occurs, not only plunging the entire city into darkness, but unlocking their locked ward and setting them loose on the town and on their way to the doctor's house. But first they kill their floor's attendee, partake in a little blackout inspired mob looting at a store outside the hospital in order to get some weaponry and steal a van. As the three men pile into the van we see the Bleeder, who grabs a hockey mask while in the store, set out on foot. (Remember that part - and the part about how he likes to hide his face from everyone - it'll come back into play during the climactic ending.) I suppose by this point in the story I should have mentioned that the doctor didn't move to town on his own, he was joined by his ditsy blond wife and sarcastic-for-her-young-age blond daughter and later (before the lights go out) the doctor's new wave sister joins the clan. She's really my favorite character out of the bunch because, not only does she have an outrageous outfit, she takes her brother and sister-in-law to a nightclub her first night in town where they see none other than New York City's own Sic F*cks, replete with their own outrageous outfits, including Manic Panic founding sisters Snooky and Tish; who are just as cute as can be, dancing around with appropriately oversized cleavers - complete with blood gimmick - singing "Chop, chop, chop up your mother." (If you rent the DVD version, I highly recommend the bonus interview with the band; very entertaining and, seriously, Snooky and Tish are still as cute as can be! Honestly, it was my favorite part of the whole package.) I won't spoil the ending for you but, as you may imagine, at some point the four men wind up in the house at the same time the four family members are inside and we all know what happens next... wacky hijinks ensue! Or rather, a number of members of this assembled group dies and others live. In retrospect, in surprised this movie didn't wind up with more of a cult following as it has a lot of "midnight movie" feel to it. It's also worth pointing out there was a movie released in 2005 with the same title, inspired by a videogame not this film.
—Bunny
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