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Satanik
[RetroMedia]
1968; color
Directed by Piero Vivarelli
Starring: Magda Konopka, Julio Peña, Umberto Raho, Luigi Montini & Armando Calvo
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I must admit, when this selection first landed in my review pile I wasn't that excited. Mainly because the plotline, as described on the back of the box, was one I've seen before in a number of different films. (To name one I previously reviewed on the buffet, The Wasp Woman.) I am happy to be able to say this movie easily set itself apart from all those other movies. Not because it's better than any of those films. (It's not.) But because what it lacked in cohesive plot… or character development… or most other things most folks look for in a film… it more than made up for in costume, soundtrack and general Euro-kitchiness. The story, if you can call it that, revolves around a female scientist of advanced age who is either facially disfigured in some fashion or was just unfortunate enough to be born really, really ugly. (I couldn't really tell. Plus, there's no background given for these characters; we're just kind of dropped into a pre-existing storyline.) Fortunately for her though, through years and years of scientific research and more recent hands-on research - including the type of experiments that cause an animal rights activist to splash red paint on their lab coats - a colleague of said unattractive woman has discovered a way to make old folks look young. And act violently. (Just to clarify, he was only gunning for the first result; the latter was a surprise side-effect.) Apparently she's been kind of encouraging / working with him on the project and is all gung-ho to be the first human to receive a dose from the test tube of youth. The professor refuses to hook her up with the magic potion, citing a duty to society or some kind of bullshit, so she does what any completely normal, completely desperate person does - she kills to get her way. Hmmm, I wonder what would happen if a subject prone to aggressive behavior took a drug whose side effects include, or in this case solely consist of, an increase in aggressive behavior? Not to worry, if you haven't figured it out yet, the results will become clear quicker than a hideous old crone can turn into a relatively hot, relatively young, Italian babe with a long wig and false eyelashes and a fierce drag queen-esque smoky eye / nude lip combo. Which, for the purposes of this review, is not that long. Personally, I liked this film; I got a lot of inspiration from it for my soon to be launched (as in it will be launched whenever I'm satisfied enough with my site design and feel like I have enough stock to launch it) online boutique, Jade Pussycat. However I'm having a bit of a late '60s Italian moment at the moment, and realize that most people are not satisfied walking away from a movie with inspiration for their soon to be launched online boutique. Therefore I will end this "review" by saying that those who are willing to take in Satanik at face value (pun intended!), and view it as eye candy, very well may enjoy it as well. Those looking for a "proper" film very well may want to look elsewhere.
—Bunny
(The Komandant's previously published review of The Faceless Monster can be found here; his review of The Red Headed Corpse can be found here.)
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