|
Pervert!
[TLA Releasing]
2005; color
Directed by Jonathan Yudis
Starring: Mary Carey, Sean Andrews, Darrell Sandeen, Juliette Clarke, Sally Jean, Jonathan Yudis, Tula & Candice Hussain
|
|
We've got a real mixed bag here. Pervert! starts off in fine Russ Meyer-esque fashion and, for a while, holds it's own as a very well done homage to the finer aspects of Meyer's inimitable style. Sadly, at some point things begin to go tragically awry and the movie descends into a Troma-esque state from which it never fully recovers. Things start off well enough with old widower Hezekiah having some fun his live-in lady Cheryl, played by porn star and one-time political candidate Mary Carey. Then, James, Hezekiah's only son, comes home from college for the summer and things pretty much go straight to hell at a rapid pace. James is a complete wash-out when it comes to the ladies, and seeing Cheryl constantly parading around in states of near or total undress, not to mention hearing her have loud sex with his old man in the next room, ain't helpin' him sleep at night. Something else is also plaguing James at night: bizarre dreams with a guy who appears to be some sort of witch doctor. Oh yeah, and there's also something very low to the ground and grumbly that seems to be running around the house at night. (With a POV very similar to that of the Evil Dead floor cam.) Another oddball side to this cinematic equation is Hezekiah's "art." He has an on-site studio, you see, where he makes life-sized human sculptures with various unidentified meats. Anyhow, once the old man's back is turned James and Cheryl start going at it like rabbits. Unfortunately they're not too careful and soon, they're caught Hezekiah explodes with anger and Cheryl quickly disappears after a loud fight. James suspects his father is responsible but says nothing. A day or two later, dad comes back from town with a new ladyfriend and all goes back to "normal." A few days later, while Pa's asleep, James steals the key to the studio, clearly thinking he's gonna find Cheryl's remains. Of course, he finds nothing. Meanwhile, dad's new squeeze is waiting for James in the kitchen when she's attacked by whatever it is that's been motoring around the floor. Actually, attacked isn't completely the right word. At first, she thinks James is giving her some lovin' from behind but then things go horribly wrong and she's killed in a quick and painful fashion. At almost the exact same time, a blood covered Cheryl stumbles into the shed like a zombie. James shakes her to snap her out of it and her head pops right off, shooting up a geyser of blood. If you hadn't guessed, this is where the Russ Meyer train starts to jump the tracks and the Evil Dead train takes over. James is convinced the old man is lying about not killing the women and tries to get him committed. This results in the appearance of Patty, a senior care aid who just happens to look and dress almost exactly like SuperVixen (from the movie of almost the exact same name). James and Patty begin to fall for each other, until they learn each other's deadly secret. Patty, it turns out, is no nurse. She's actually the former girlfriend of Cheryl, and she's out to do some revenging on ol' Hezekiah. And James… well… it seems that little creature running around the house and killing girls is actually the byproduct of a spell a witch doctor cast on our "hero" to make him irresistible to women. Due to the curse, if a girl wants to have or has sex with him, his penis will later detach itself from his body and kill the girl in a gory, brutal fashion. This is where we really begin to scrape the bottom of the barrel, as the claymation dick is so ridiculous looking it makes the killer penis in Soul Vengeance seem like f'in CGI by comparison. (Yes, it is that bad.) And the shots of it "running" through the desert chasing after Patty are clearly a large plastic dildo being drug through the brush-on fishing line. I'm not gonna go any further with the plot - believe it or not there's still more - but the bottom line is, Pervert! is hilariously awful; or awfully hilarious. Possibly both.
—the Kommandant
|
|
