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The Naked Kiss
[Criterion]
1964; b&w
Directed by Samuel Fuller
Starring: Constance Towers, Anthony Eisley, Michael Dante, Virginia Grey & Patsy Kelly
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The Kommandant literally stumbled across this film recently while perusing the shelves at TLA video (we were looking for The Naked Witch, either the Andy Milliagan one or the one directed by Larry Buchanan; or pretty much anything else with the word naked in the title that did not also include words like lacrosse or co-eds) and while it may be a little "preachy" in tone, as compared to some of the films we regularly review on the BMB, The Naked Kiss has more in common with a Doris Wishman roughie than you might think. Albeit, under the direction of Samuel Fuller, delivered in a much - make that MUCH - different fashion. Plus it stars none other than Helena Cassadine herself, Constance Towers! Knowing how much we, meaning me, like a bad movie starring someone who was or is on General Hospital, this was a "must see". (Edy Williams also makes a brief appearance but it's really too brief for more than an aside.) The story here revolves around a woman of ill repute named Kelly. She's a prostitute who has grown sick and tired of toiling away at the world's oldest profession. Actually, we don't know she's a prostitute yet. And when we do find out, it won't be because she stands up at a Prostitutes Anonymous meeting and says "Hello, my name is Kelly and I'm a prostitute." Because, much like Ms. Wishman, Mr. Fuller apparently has his own quirks; and, apparently, these quirks include allowing the audience to kind of piece things together through double-talked dialogue and insinuating innuendo. At any rate, although we don't know whether her profession is a legal one or not, we do know something is amiss in Kelly's world right from the start (meaning the start of the film) when we see her caught mid-tussle with a seemingly drunk gentleman caller. After gaining the upper hand, she viciously attacks him with her patent leather accessories and storms out of his apartment - after removing "exactly what was owed to her" from his pocket, ripping up what we assume to be a photo of herself that was sitting on his shelf, and gathering up her belongings, including the wig he knocked off of her head during the fight, of course. (Remember all of this, they'll revisit these details in the last half hour of the film.) After the credit roll we fast forward a couple years. When we meet back up with Kelly it seems has found herself in a new place - literally and metaphorically. She's decided to set up shop in the small town of Grantville, but not go back to her old line of work. Well, she does get her new life off on the wrong foot by sleeping with the local sheriff for a quick $20 on her first night in town. (For legal purposes the sex was free and what the sheriff was buying was a $10 bottle of cheap champagne; but as she "doesn't make change" she walked away with double the price of admission.) However she does manage to not-so-gracefully decline his offer of putting in a good word for her down at the local cathouse. Instead she opts for a job of nursing crippled children who, as they cannot run and jump and play like "normal" children, pass the time by singing truly horrible songs that no human being, of any age, should have to sit through. (Seriously, the Kommandant dove for the remote during this part so he could fast forward through it; I couldn't even wait that long and just hit mute on the remote I had in front of me.) But Kelly doesn't mind. She's just happy to be living a "normal" life. Sadly for our heroine, things can't stay normal for long - particularly because, if they did, the movie would be boring. Before long a series of events brings Kelly's past face-to-face with Kelly present, and thus jeopardizes her future. Then there's a couple other twists thrown in for good measure. In honor of Fuller's style though, I won't give any more away. You'll just have to figure it out for yourself, like I did. And then ask the person you're watching it with you to explain some parts and / or confirm what you weren't sure you understood; also like I did.
—Bunny
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