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Common Law Wife
[Something Weird]
1963; b&w
Directed by Larry Buchanan
Starring: Anne MacAdams, George Edgely, Max Anderson & Lacey Kelly
Jennie, Wife/Child
[Something Weird]
1968; b&w
Directed by James Landis
Starring: Beverly Lunsford, Jack Lester, Jim Reader, Virginia Wood & Davie Allan and The Arrows
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First up in this double dose of hillbilly-sploitation is Common Law Cabin. The film opens on a seemingly typical evening at the home of Shugfoot "Shug" Rainey, a filthy rich, booze guzzlin' old dude, and his whiny, cranky trophy housemate Linda. We learn that Shug has grown tired of his live-in lady friend and wants to trade her in for a prettier, younger trophy housemate, one "Baby Doll" Jonelle; who also happens to be his niece. Yes, he knows it's incest but as he tells Linda: "words don't bother him." (Similarly, his inability to properly render the words in this script didn't bother the people who cast this film.) We also learn that good ol' uncle Shug isn't the only relative Baby Doll has in town. Her sister Brenda also lives nearby with her husband, the town's Sheriff; who, as it turns out, slept with both sisters while the three of them were in high school. Did you get all that? Anywhoo, to get back to Linda - Shug's sudden interest in getting rid of her ass has somehow manifested itself into her own sudden interest in staying put and, thanks to a visit to her lawyer, she's found just the loophole to help her cause. Seems she's a little more than just a tenant in the Rainey home; in fact, in the eyes of the State, Shug and Linda are married - common law like! So if he wants to get rid of her it's gotta be via d-i-v-o-r-c-e, which means she'll likely end up with at least half his fortune. And you know it's that last part that really ticks off both the old man and his would be new gal pal. Later, Baby Doll consoles herself by engaging in casual sex with her ex-boyfriend / brother-in-law and further works on her plan to get Uncle Shug's money for herself. She tries to convince the Sheriff to join her in scheming but he declines, causing her to break into a spontaneous go-go routine and flee into the arms of an ex-suitor of hers from back in the day, a moonshiner named Bull. After pitting the men against each other for a while, and sleeping with each of them a few more times for good measure, Baby Doll finally settles on Bull - but only after he agrees to help her lace the old man's hooch with cyanide. She attempts to deliver the deadly grog but winds up getting cock-blocked by Linda who later, unknowingly, ends up ending Shug's life herself by dutifully filling his snifter like a good common law wife. This isn't the end of the story though, there's still money to fight over, and the ladies fight it out to the bitter end. Of the movie, that is. Interested parties will have to find out for themselves which redneck queen reigns supreme.
Following along similar lines of unhappy marriages and vast age differences we have Jennie, Wife/Child. The wife/child in question, Jennie, is a mere twenty years old and longs to spend her days and nights swimmin' and dancin'. Her husband, Albert, is quite a bit older than that and his swimmin' and dancin' days are well behind him. Jennie distracts herself by turning her attention to Mario, the farmhand, but he fears the wrath of Mr. Peckingpaw and keeps his hands to himself. At least until later that night when he heads to the local watering hole to blow off some steam and meets up with a young lady named Lulu, whose talents include drinking beer from a can and undressing while riding sidesaddle on a motorcycle. They do "it" and Mario staggers back to the farm in the morning. Jennie is pissed but channels her energy into swimming nude in the lake - which proves to be just enough bait to lure Mario into a literal and metaphoric roll in the hay. Albert actually winds up hearing them doing their nasty business in the barn but doesn't let on that he knows they're stepping out behind his back. Jennie cooks up a plan to run off with Mario and the money Albert keeps in a black box in his roll top desk. She does manage to snag the key to the desk and liberate the box, but finds it bereft of cash. Albert spies this whole go-round from his bed where he's taken ill but, again, doesn't say anything. She attempts a second rifling of the desk but is foiled by a visit from the doctor and life goes back to normal. Later, Albert throws his young bride a birthday party complete with a cake, a present and a guest. (Mario, of course.) Plus a side order of alcohol and tension. Jennie and Mario break into the booze but Albert remains sober; as he's got a secondary set of plans for the evening. When the young, hungover lovers awaken, they're chained up in the cellar and we see Albert out in the field digging them some new body-sized homes in the dirt. Lulu stops by to visit with Mario but finding him not around, she decides to give the old man a whirl. This act of tender lovin' causes Albert to have a change of heart. He refills the graves and heads back to the house. At the same time, Mario finally frees himself from his shackles - thus setting up the confrontation that will end this love quadrangle for good. And, eventually, it does; but not the way you might expect. One final note: as you can see from the credits at left, this movie lists Davie Allan & The Arrows amongst it's stars - a factoid I am not prepared to confirm or deny after watching the film. The Kommandant swears they were the band in the roadhouse, and he could be right; I didn't think any of the guys in that band looked like the pictures I've seen of Davie & co. from back then but what do I know.
Just in case that isn't enough deep woods lovin' for ya, the extras include another movie length feature - a Southern fried sexploitation flick called Moonshine Love - plus audio commentary from Common Law Wife director Larry Buchanan and a gallery of similarly themed art and audio oddities.
—Bunny
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