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Double Agent 73
[Something Weird]
1974; color
Directed by Doris Wishman
Starring: Chesty Morgan, Frank Silvano, Saul Meth, Jill Harris & Louis Burdi
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Common American business practice dictates - when you have a successful product, you should immediately follow that up with the release of a similar product in order to cash in quick on the trend you just started. It is, after all, the carny way. Thus we have the second, and final, collabo between Doris Wishman and Chesty Morgan, Double Agent 73. It's not a follow up to Deadly Weapons, per se, but it was made right around the same time and is somewhat similar in form and function. (Taking into account Wishman's signature sinematic style and Morgan's own, uh, unique look and skill in front of the camera, what else would you expect?) This time Chesty plays super-endowed super-spy Jane Tournay also known as, obviously, Double Agent 73. She's kind of a Jane Bond - only with a much seedier line of work, not to mention an outrageously tacky wardrobe and, of course, her main "asset," her frighteningly large breasts. When we first see Jane, she's doing some maxing and relaxing at some resort type spot but her r&r is quickly interrupted by the call of duty and off she goes, somewhat grudgingly, to get her next assignment. Seems there's a particularly nasty illegal drug ring pushing some tainted smack around town and the bureau has decided ol' Double Agent 73 is just the gal to bring down this unruly mob of unruly and unattractive mobsters - led by the mysterious Mr. T, the man with the scar. After getting her orders and having her already remarkable breasts enhanced, if you will, with the addition of a spy camera she's ready to hit the pavement and get down to some government approved slaughter. (Actually I think just the left one gets a camera; apparently at the same time they implanted some sort of device that will cause her boobs to self-destruct if she doesn't return to headquarters by a certain time or something - maybe that device went into the right one to even them out, they weren't really clear on the details of the whole exploding breast thing.) Anyway, from here on out Ms Tournay engages in much snuffing of human life and removal of her various tops. In fact, the rest of the plot really revolves around a series of undressings and killings and undressings and killings. Because, you see, her instructions include documenting everything she encounters along the way. Therefore the killing is usually preceded by or following the disrobing from the waist up of our heroine and the self groping required by the mechanisms inherent to breast implanted spy cameras circa 1974. (And I love the way she kind of gathers up her shit and huffs out of a room after doing her dirty deeds, with her sloppy self hanging out all over the place and her wig all askew, teetering on some seven inch platforms. What a woman!) Like any spy worth their secret agent status, Jane encounters a seductive member of the opposite sex along the way which, just as naturally, puts her personal and professional lives on a perilous collision course rife with softcore sex and kooky violence. There was a Chesty-less "sequel" to this film, The Immoral Three, made the following year but in a typical Wishman fashion it has very little, if anything, to do with this film.
—Bunny
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