2006; color

Directed by Octavio Winkytiki

Starring: Kimberly Kane, Page Morgan, Mysti May, Lexi Bardot, Nadia Styles, Angie Savage, Smokin' Mary Jane, Dragonlily, Mr. Pete, Tyler Knight, Damon Pierce, Barry Scott, Devon Savage & Masuimi Max

I don't remember exactly when we started this porn column, but it was a long time ago. Since then I have watched far more porn in my "professional" life than I have in my personal life. I bring this up because reviewing porn is totally different from watching it casually. You have to actually pay attention and think about it later. Which can sometimes be scary. The other weird thing about writing about porn, as opposed to just renting some every so often at your local adult emporium, is that you start to see how the industry operates on the inside. Which can be even scarier! But I must admit I find it fascinating from afar. One thing I've been thinking about recently is the way the relationship between music and porn has changed since we started this column. (And this is a little example of what I was talking about earlier. Why the hell would anyone be thinking about that? Unless you knew you had a porn review column to write and were thinking about the topic in advance.) In the earliest days of It's A Porn, Porn, Porn, Porn World, the only stuff sent to us for review containing any musical reference outside the expected background music had a decidedly metal vibe. (Specifically, I'm thinking of the whole Matt Zane / Backstage Sluts thing.) There was also a weird, brief period of time where we would get pornos that had ambient and electronicsoundtracks. (Which I, for one, totally didn't understand; ambient music makes me want to sleep, not screw.) Then some more high-profile rappers got into the game, but we didn't get sent any of those pornos. Not even the one with Treach from Naughty By Nature, which was really the only one I wanted to see. (That dude is hot!) Over the past few years, we've seen a steady rise - pun intended! - in the pairing of punk rock and porn. Seeing as how we're a punk rock fanzine with a porn column, we got sent quite a few of these early ones; like Little Runaway, aka the porno version of Suburbia, which came out three or four years ago. Now, apparently, the age of alt-porn is upon us. Alt-porn is kinda like punk porn except with more Rancid. And with alt-porn the creepy old guy overseeing the whole operation isn't actually a creepy old guy at all. He's a friendly, personable twenty-something fella (or at least that's how Larry described Eon Mckai to me after he called here out of the blue one afternoon) who named himself after a well known punk rock musician who is well known for being straight and having edge. As of the writing of this column I have come to the conclusion that this is good. Alt-porn has kind of changed the face of our porn column in fact; replacing the seemingly endless array of blond, tanned, fake boobed Stepford porn stars with chicks with Bettie Page hairdos and extensive lingerie collections and / or heavily tattooed ladies with stripey knee socks and rollergirl-esque pseudonyms. (Truth be told one of the girls in this film was actually blond, kind of tan and had obviously fake boobs but, obviously fake boobs aside, I thought she was hot so we won't hold that against them.) Plus, alt-porn remembers to remember the ladies in the audience. How do I know this? Because they also exchanged the Ron Jeremys of the porn world - aka the gross,old, hairy dudes who were gross and hairy even when they were still young - for cute, if not slightly dorky, young dudes like Tommy Pistol who occasionally do some ab crunches and sport ironic facial hair. We like dorky guys with ironic facial hair; and by we I mean me. Of course, I'm already married to one. Anyway, let's get on to the review portion of this review, shall we? Regular c14 readers may recognize the name of the director of this film, Octavio WinkyTiki from that time like five years ago when he allowed me to use a pin-up photo he took of the lovely Miss Danielle Bedics for a feature we ran on her / her artwork. Well, even our most diligent c14 readers might not remember that but I do. (I remember all the little details of every issue, except the stuff I write myself.) Who knew that a few years later I would be reviewing his filthy, dirty movie and that it would be possibly the best filthy, dirty movie we have ever reviewed in this column to date. It certainly had the best sets, lighting and wardrobe, as well as the most usage of tikis and Hawaiiana I've seen in an x-rated film, which I attribute to his previous and current life as a pin-up photographer. (His work is fantastic too; check it out here.) Essentially The Rebelle Rousers is a series of vignettes but there is a thin storyline thread tying everything together, involving a gang of tight clothed, red lipsticked, high heel wearing, lingerie dealing renegades who fight and fuck with equal fervor. Sexually there's a little something here for each proclivity, and plenty of fetish-y stuff thrown in for good measure. The first scene was a good girl / bad girl thing, and took place in a well accessorized house setting. The second features one girl and two guys in what I think was supposed to be a bar.After that we are transported to Tiki Island, which sounds like it may be a fun place but, trustme, it is no Disneyland. Unless your idea of Disneyland involves a lot of extensive rope bondage and a ton of clothespins. Personally all that extensive rope bondage and inappropriate usage of clothespins is not my thing (because all I could think during this part was "ow") but the participants, even the captee, seemed to be enjoying themselves. This scene is a little more intense than the movies we normally review here but that is, of course, what the fast forward button is for. Timid viewers may want to use that button for this scene. After that we go back to the mainland for a little trailer park action featuring the blond girl we mentioned earlier and her pro-tattoo, anti-lingerie boyfriend. Following that we get the reverse scenario of scene two, with two girls and one boy; the twist in this scene being that the girls are "Southern" and the boy is a handsome athletic type who looks like he could be the quarterback of the Howard University football team. They do "it," in various configurations, all while in full view of a confederate flag wall hanging. The last scene is kind of like a Leg Show circa the Dian Hanson-era photo shoot come to life, featuring an appropriately outfitted raven-haired beauty cavorting around an appropriately outfitted set. No actual sex in this scene but quite sexy. (There's also another scene that's kind of similar to this one during and after the credit roll, which totally reminded me of the Fistful Of Rock volume 13 part 1 cover come to life.) There are a bunch of extras on the disc too including some photo galleries and a brief but hilarious "behind the scenes" reel that shines a light on the lighter sides of making a dirty movie. Overall, I really liked this dirty movie; quite a bit in fact. (Which should be obvious from the length of this review.) It was really dirty yet beautiful to look at.
—Bunny

[Images courtesy VividAlt.com]