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Slumber Party Massacre
[New Concorde]
1982; color
Directed by Amy Jones
Starring: Michele Michaels, Michael Villela, Robin Stille & Debra DeLiso
Slumber Party Massacre II
[New Concorde]
1987; color
Directed by Deborah Brock
Starring: Crystal Bernard, Kimberly McArthur, Juliette Cumming & Patrick Lowe
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I can't really speak for the rest of the ladies in the audience but by the time I got to high school I didn't really get invited to many - or make that any - slumber parties. Sure, I spent the night at many of my female friend's houses (especially my friend Bridget's house where her hard working single mom enforced no curfew or, really, any other rules to speak of) but, generally, the sleepover part just consisted of us all passing out from the evening's activities. The part that happened earlier, when we went out. We certainly never voluntarily sat home lounging around in oversized t-shirts and giggling over boys while putting on mud masks and painting our toes when there was partying to be done and boys to make out with. And where I grew up, Northeast Philly, there was always plenty of both. The '80s were a simpler time though… oh wait, I was in high school in the '80s. Maybe it wasn't a simpler time; maybe I was just a delinquent. Anywhoo, as you may have guessed from the title, the teenaged girls in this movie were still having slumber parties. Were being the operative word, of course, because by the time the end credits roll most of these young ladies won't be doing much of anything except bleeding to death after being attacked by a power drill wielding maniac. Actually, he's an escaped convicted murderer / power drill wielding maniac but if you blink, or go to grab a snack like the Kommandant did, during the first minute of the movie you'll totally miss the part where they show the rolled up newspaper lying on the street with the headline that says a convicted murder has escaped from prison and, since they pretty much never discuss who the guy is or why he's attacking people throughout the course of the film, you'll spend the rest of the movie valiantly searching in vain for the reason behind these oh so bloody killings. Or actually, you probably won't. When you're watching a movie with the word "massacre" in the title you're expecting someone to die, right? In this movie you will get plenty of that. Along with the pre-requisite topless pillow fight (oh yeah, me and my girlfriends did that all the time back in the day) and a trio of spunky girls (the nice cheerleader, her nerdy unpopular neighbor of the cheerleader, and the neighbor girl's awkward pre-teen sister) who ultimately kill the killer and save their own lives. Until… the sequel! Yes, there is one. In fact, I believe there's even a sequel to this sequel but this DVD only features the first two in the series. Thankfully. In the second one, the nice cheerleader is nowhere to be see, while her nerdy unpopular neighbor has been institutionalized due to the trauma of surviving the "driller killer". Her awkward pre-teen sister however seems pretty okey dokey. She's blossomed into full fledged teenager-dom and turned into that chick from Wings, Crystal Bernard, who I believe also played Bobbi Spencer's murderous evil stepdaughter on General Hospital sometime in the '80s. And, get this, she's in an all-girl band! But before you get too excited, let's just say they're no Runaways. Even The Bangles are racy—and talented—in comparison to this quartet, but let's give them points for trying something a little different. In this movie the killer isn't an escaped convict, he's some kind figment of the sister's imagination that's transitioned into the real world who looks and sounds like a poor man's Andrew Dice Clay; and he keeps talkin' all this crazy jive bullshit that is supposed to be funny but isn't (just like the real Andrew Dice Clay) in between sticking people with his power drill guitar head combo. Oh how I wished Scott Corkern would magically appear on screen and beat him over the head with the grindertar (now that's an instrument!) but, alas, that did not happen. Prior to watching these I guessed that I'd enjoy the part two more than part one, based on the rock and roll angle, but in reality there was very little rock or roll in the rock and roll angle. More so than the actual killing, it was horrifying to see the good name of evil rock and roll associated with something so awful. But on the other hand, watching the second one made me appreciate the original all the more. Sure it was gory and filled with unnecessary footage of girls with their tops off, and rather mindless and pointless to boot, but in a good way, if you know what I mean. We can only imagine what kind of ridiculousness they conjured up for part three. I for one, will only be imagining it as there's no f'in way I'm spending another 90 minutes of my life watching a movie with the words slumber, party, massacre and a number in the title again.
—Bunny
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