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Silent Night Deadly Night
[Anchor Bay]
1984; color
Directed by Charles E. Sellier Jr.
Starring: Lilyan Chauvin, Gilmer McCormick, Toni Nero, Robert Brian Wilson, H.E.D. Redford & Linnea Quigley
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Unless you spend your winter months in hibernation, it's almost impossible to avoid coming into contact with something Christmas related this time of year. From what a nice Jewish girl like me has been made to understand, the ancient origins of the holiday are purely religious. However I think folks of all religions can agree that the modern world has turned Christmas into something completely different than what it started out as. Certainly the markings of the holiday have worked their way into all sorts of shit that has absolutely nothing to do with Jesus - like the donuts Larry brought home from the Wawa the other day. (Apparently when you take your regular frosted donut with sprinkles recipe and Van Halen those sprinkles by editing out all colors except for red and green, it becomes a Christmas donut.) Even the '80s slasher movie was not immune to a holiday themed makeover. Case in point: Silent Night Deadly Night. And if I can veer off topic for one moment here, can you believe there are actually five installments in this series?! As I've only watched the first two I'm in no position to judge the series as a whole, but I am in a position to judge this first installment so let's get started. When we first meet our protagonist, Billy, he is but a wee boy; and yes, it is Christmas Eve. Along with his mother, father and infant sibling, he briefly visits his grandfather before heading back to the family home to wait for Santa's arrival. (The mentally challenged grandfather also serves the same purpose as other beloved genre staples such as the drunk cemetery worker or the crazy local gypsy broad - that is, to tell the viewer the rest of the movie's plot.) Unfortunately, on the way home, a Santa suit clad criminal waves down their car and shoots the father while he's attempting to drive away. After the car comes to a halt, Billy jumps out and hides in some roadside foliage, where he watches Santa rip his mom's shirt off before slitting her throat. He escapes harm—well, physical harm anyway—and winds up in an orphanage where he raises the ire of the Mother Superior, a woman who rules the roost with an iron fist and a strong belief in ironic therapy. (For example she forces Billy to sit on Santa's lap during a Christmas party.) Years later, when the boy turns 18 and is released from the nun's charge, the sisters get him a job in a toy store. All things seem to be going relatively well until the holidays rear their ugly head and his boss innocently requests that Billy himself don the Santa suit. Which he does. And you all know what happens next, right? Of course you do. Billy's co-workers are the first to die but, curiously enough, he doesn't use the axe to dispose any of them. Instead he uses a string of lights, a knife, a hammer and a bow & arrow. After that he carries his murderous intent outside the store and sets upon a pair of homebound horny teenagers. He disposes the girl by impaling her on an antlered wall trophy (it was an elk I think; possibly a buck) and throws the boy out the window. Later he does use the axe to gut and kill a cop, and the same weapon is employed to decapitate a snowman on his way into the orphanage where he plans to close the circle by killing Mother Superior. Things don't quite work out that way but you can't blame the kid for trying. Overall this is pretty standard for the genre (meaning pretty good if you like this kind of thing; but not all that good based on the standards of normal movie making) and a fun way to counteract all that Christmas cheer.
—Bunny
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